Barnes 5s 5-1 OC Vamps(Cup)
It was an ominous start. Damp and foggy. Fly tipping in the car park. No changing facilities. Two portaloos with a pump action flush. No running water. One loo containing a very large man. The other an oversized deposit.
Still there was good news. Sophie and Helen from the 1sts arrived! Then Sophie let it slip that she had had a tactical chunder five minutes earlier. Not such good news.
This is a match I don’t want to report on. It was a bad tempered affair, with Barnes hassling us and our resilient umpire Hilary from the outset. The ‘encouragement’ they were shouting included ‘take them out’. Surely not in the spirit of any game. They were real ‘Mean Girls’ but without the looks or charisma.
A couple of us got hurt. Kate getting whiplash and badly winded, Jane being shoved over and bouncing on her head. Barmes were physical – which is OK, but their shouting and obnoxious coach was as unpalatable as the portaloos.
Thank you to the Chunder Queen Sophie and to Helen for putting in a great shift, but it was to no avail. We lost. That’s really all you need to know.